Update

I weighed myself yesterday for my week 7 check-in and came in at 151.4! That's only .2 pounds from my ticker....now to remember what date I imputed that weight on......off to check ticker factory (so glad they save this information).

Okay back

Seems I weighed 151.2 on August 8th. Wow! I still can't believe I let myself gain back 4 pounds in a month. That should have been a loss but I have been dealing with other forms of loss like the loss of an uncle, the notice that my grandmother has inoperable cancer and not long to live....it's all hit me hard and I have turned to comfort foods and snacking to keep my mind off the negative.

Even now I am having difficulties concentrating at work because financially I can not go to see my grandmother though I long to. My father will be heading there next week sometime. I wish I could be on that flight with him...we all do...it's just not possible.

So I sit typing here, listening to my thoughts and ponder what I can do. Mostly I know my grandmother would want me to be healthy. When she was still healthy enough for travel she came to visit and I told her about my health issues and the goals I had set for myself. She was impressed with what I had done, especially my eagerness to go to the dentist. She's been wearing dentures for years now and knows just what kind of pain they are and told me to take care of my teeth always. I know she wants me to be happy and for my family to be happy and she kick my butt if she knew I took something away from my family just so I could afford to fly and see her. So again I ponder and now it's about money and food and how I have neither...I so need to go grocery shopping but I have like $60 for the next two months. Guess that will keep me on my diet since I can't afford to by anything extra. At least we have meat in the freezer from our very successful hunting trip.